As you can see below, it's been a tough the past 6 weeks for me. My energy level is feeling pretty low. It's a combination of school, finding time for the gym, eating right and various other economic related stresses...and of course the dreaded last few weeks of winter.
I've been kind of taking a hiatus from everything. I have not been consistent with tracking or my diet...and haven't posted much on LS. However, I've still be working out. Me without exercise is like me without coffee=USELESS. So I have not abandoned that.
I've just been finding myself completely overwhelmed with balancing nutrition with everything else. I've done my best to take advice from LS members, but many of them make it seem easy..which only frustrates me further. I'm prone for being obsessed and I'm quite the perfectionist. I've tried to so hard to focus on my macro nutrients...but at the cost of my mental health. I really don't enjoy being that conscious of my diet, whenever I attempt to reach out about my feelings to others "I make excuses for being fat". When in reality, that really isn't what it is.
How do you focus on your physical health to that extent without it effecting you mentally?
I mean, I do what I can. I work out 5 days a week, I hardly eat fast food, I drink a ton of water, take vitamins..and I do my best to eat cleaner foods. But I guess it's not enough for the results I want. My body is just stuck here...at 188 pounds.
I still find myself looking in the mirror with total disgust as to how I look...I want to change it, but I mentally cannot deal with this diet balancing in such a way without getting neurotic.
Where do you draw the line?
There are days when this lifestyle change makes me feel great, unstoppable, amazing! There are also days where I get super annoyed that I was blessed with the metabolism of a large bear. It's the yin and yang of life.
ReplyDeleteI know your frustration, and it does drive me nuts sometimes when the everstick figures just go on about how losing weight just "isn't that hard" etc. For some this may be true, but not for all.
My sanity is largely dependent on focusing on why I decided to become more fit, and it wasn't only to look better, it was to feel better. I used to get winded walking places, now I can run and be less winded than I was. I would most likely have not seen 60 years old had I kept my patterns what they were, I now fully expect to be putting multi thousand mile years on the bike well past 60.
Stress does bad things to weight loss, so manufactured stress about weight loss is truly one of the worst issues. Hard as it can be, just be where you are, and be happy. What you see in the mirror is not what everyone sees, we tend to always be our own worst critics. Hang in there, and just keep working out. (Give yourself a break on the whole macronutrient thing a bit. Calories, and fiber are the only two numbers I really look at each day, worrying about too many others just drives me a little nuts too).
Good luck!
Thank you SO much. Just reading what you said has made me feel 100x's better.
ReplyDeleteGlad to hear it! Hang in there!
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